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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429630">what a tale my thoughts could tell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn'>AndreaLyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Mind Reading, Psychic Bond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:13:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,771</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“We gonna tell her?” Joe mumbles, still busy eating the remnants of Nicky’s lunch from his plate. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Tell me what?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Joe and I, we can read each other’s minds,” Nicky informs her as he sips his cappuccino, as if he’s talking about something as casual as their drink order. “Since the lab.” </i>
</p>
<p>They're already half of one another's soul, but after the incident at Merrick's lab, suddenly Nicky and Joe have a brand new connection between them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2558</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you Crystal for the beta, and the title comes from Gordon Lightfoot's song <i>If You Could Read My Mind</i>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you know, I was thinking about Malta.”</p>
<p>“What time in Malta?”</p>
<p>Nicky turns to him and thinks, <i>Those perfect five nights where you tried to make my cock fall off. I almost thought you wanted to find out if it would heal.</i></p>
<p>Joe laughs fondly when he hears it. “Ah,” he says with such delight. “<i>That</i> time in Malta.”</p>
<p>It doesn’t occur to Nicky at that moment that he hadn’t said that aloud. They’ve been tortured for so long and he’s very tired. Of course it doesn’t occur to him.</p>
<p>This cage seems clamped down on them without offering a chance of escape, but their lives are long and they are resourceful. He turns Malta into a glowing beacon, a hope, a place to go if they ever escape this prison of profit and inhumanity. </p>
<p>He doesn’t think too much about how Joe had <i>heard</i> him. In the scope of their issues, it’s a minor problem, overshadowed by the desperate need to escape.</p><hr/>
<p>After Booker’s banishment begins, Nicky notices that things are different. </p>
<p>Joe thinks about the morning paper and Nicky hands it to him. This is not new. They are nearly at their thousand-year anniversary. Nicky can read Joe by his expressions and the infinitesimal shift in an expression. </p>
<p>Of course he knows when Joe wants something, especially if it’s part of their morning routine.</p>
<p>They are connected, they are two halves of one soul. Of course they can anticipate one another’s needs. </p>
<p>It becomes less easy to explain.</p>
<p>Nicky spends an entire afternoon craving a very specific brand of biscuits and then Joe brings them back from the local store without having been asked. They didn’t even talk about shopping or cooking, Joe just <i>knew</i>. </p>
<p>The next night, Nicky is reading an old copy of a loved book when suddenly he stops, mid-chapter, and heads to the bathroom to hand Joe a towel, because he’d started taking a shower without one being available.</p>
<p>Even then, he thinks nothing of it.</p>
<p>There are miracles in the world, why not this sense that they know what the other absolutely needs? </p>
<p>Only, then something happens that Nicky cannot write off.</p>
<p>Joe’s humming as he helps Nicky cook; none of this is strange. Joe often hums and sings while he helps Nicky cook, and he always likes to assist when Nicky is making old classics. Only, then, clear as day, Nicky hears Joe’s voice in his head thinking about watching Nicky’s hands coated in pasta sauce and wanting to suck it all off. It’s not abnormal for him to tell Nicky such things in private, but Andy and Nile are sitting at the table a few feet away. Not to mention, he swears he’s <i>heard</i> it, but Joe’s mouth, it didn’t move.</p>
<p>“Nicky?” Joe asks when Nicky has frozen in place. “What happened. Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Nicky gapes at Joe in disbelief, wondering how he can ask such a thing when his mind has put such images in his mind. “I think I burned my finger,” he lies, but it’s enough of an excuse for him to escape to the bathroom. It’s a poor lie. His finger would heal instantly and it’s not like him to run away for so small a wound.</p>
<p>Joe follows.</p>
<p>Of course he does.</p>
<p>“Since when do you care about a burned finger? Is this all a ploy to get me to kiss it better?” Joe teases, bracketing Nicky’s hips with his hands as he pins him up against the bathroom sink with a <i>hitch</i> that lifts him up. “I could practically feel you thinking about how you want me to suck sauce off your fingers.”</p>
<p>“No,” Nicky protests, grabbing the porcelain sink.</p>
<p>“No?”</p>
<p>“No,” he reiterates. “Because <i>you</i> were thinking it, Joe. You were thinking it, and I heard it. I saw it.” </p>
<p>He had. It’s not the first time, but now that it’s become very clear what’s happening, all the instances are beginning to come together. </p>
<p>“In the lab, you knew what I was thinking about Malta,” he says, turning to grab at Joe’s elbow with his hand. “The biscuits,” he reminds him. “The paper, the towel.” There are a dozen other little things he knows have happened, all things that he’d written off as a couple nearing their thousandth year together, but it’s not that, is it?</p>
<p>It’s something deeper, something more.</p>
<p>“Think something,” Joe demands.</p>
<p>It’s like being asked to suddenly juggle while balanced on an elephant. Nicky’s mind goes completely blank, but then, he thinks, <i>I really like the way you look in that leather jacket</i>, because when in doubt, he can always think about the simplest thing in the world to him -- how much he loves Joe and every part of him.</p>
<p>“It’s because it’s the leather jacket you bought me,” Joe says out loud, staring at Nicky like he’s a miracle come to life. “Shit,” he mumbles, scrubbing his hands over his face. He’s laughing, but it sounds slightly unhinged. “Nicky, shit.” <i>You really hear me? All of it?</i></p>
<p>Nicky nods, slowly, not sure how this is possible. “It started at the lab, but how? Why?” His fingers are absently fiddling with the cuff of Joe’s leather jacket, because now that he’s called attention to it, he absently wants to touch it. </p>
<p>Joe’s thoughts are a heady combination of languages that Nicky thinks only he can understand. He doesn’t bother to divide it into Arabic, Italian, English -- they come together in such a way that he doesn’t have to split it apart, because he knows it.</p>
<p>He knows Joe. </p>
<p>Joe’s staring at Nicky’s fingers as they slide over the leather of his jacket, and there’s a responding ping, an acknowledgement. </p>
<p><i>I like the way you sound in here too</i>. </p>
<p>They can read each other’s minds. One thousand years in, and it seems there are still some surprises left for them. Nicky is not sure he wants to call it a gift from God, but it is a gift. Nicky cups Joe’s face, staring at him for the wonder he is, closing his eyes and basking in the warmth he feels wrapped in to have Joe’s thoughts around him like this.</p>
<p>“This is impossible.”</p>
<p>“Says the immortal crusader,” Joe points out.</p>
<p><i>You may have a point</i>, thinks Nicky.</p>
<p>“Thank you for acknowledging my genius.”</p>
<p>“I said a point,” Nicky says instantly, but he’s smiling again. Whatever worries he might have about this are fading, becoming secondhand, because there’s something about the way their thoughts tangle together in their unique way that distracts Nicky. “Do you want to tell the others?” Nicky murmurs, even though Joe’s attention has turned to Nicky’s body. <i>Yusuf</i>, he scolds mentally, sending him a warning flash of Nile and Andy sitting at the table, waiting for the dinner that is probably being burned by the second.</p>
<p>His pride stings to think of serving something subpar, which is the only reason he doesn’t let Joe continue to press him against the sink.</p>
<p>Nicky doesn’t need to read Joe’s mind to know that he’s seconds away from lifting him up on top of it, but the mental picture is a welcome addition. </p>
<p>“Not yet,” Joe says. “We barely understand what’s going on.”</p>
<p>If that’s the bar they’re holding themselves to, Nicky has the feeling they might never tell them, because he’s still not sure how any of this could possibly happen. </p>
<p>Joe slides his strong hands over Nicky’s thighs, and very deliberately thinks, <i>Quickie?</i> at him.</p>
<p>He is going to be an absolute menace about this, Nicky can already tell.</p>
<p>“I am not letting dinner burn, not even for you,” is his apology, but he tries to soften the blow with a kiss. Joe keeps pressing him into the sink, but Nicky has been letting him. Now that he is reminded of his purpose, he grabs Joe by the neck with one hand, and the elbow with the order to pivot them away so Joe’s the one pressed up against the sink and Nicky’s free.</p>
<p>“Santa Maria,” Joe sighs, always blaspheming Nicky’s saints when he’s frustrated. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Nicky agrees. “I will make you suffer by cooking you an incredible dinner and then let you think incoherently dirty thoughts at me while we eat.” It is a suffering that he thinks he will be able to bear. He’s smiling incandescently to think of Joe’s ability to pester him during dinner, not bothered by this new skill because there’s no part of it that’s bad.</p>
<p>He’s had Joe in all ways for a millennia and now God or the universe has seen fit to present him with even more of the man he loves.</p>
<p>“Go on, then,” Joe encourages. <i>But you can’t stop me thinking about your fingers.</i></p>
<p>And Nicky would never want him to, so it works out for all of them.</p>
<p>Besides, he has a feeling that this new skill of theirs may come in handy and for more than just dirty thoughts over dinner. </p>
<p>Whatever grace gifted it to them, Nicky won’t take it for granted, but he will take advantage of it whenever possible.</p><hr/>
<p>Nicky hates being chained up.</p>
<p>This time, like most of the others, the people who have kidnapped him don’t bother to buy good chains. It means he can saw through his wrist to get them off and then let the skin repair. It’s a dull ache, one he hates very much, but at least their captors don’t seem to know about their talents. This is clearly what happens when Copley’s targets have something to prove. </p>
<p>Blood drops to the ground as Nicky makes a new attempt to break free, but his own body heals too quickly for him. He curses, actively angry that he should heal so quickly this one time he needs it to slow.</p>
<p>
  <i>Nicky? Can you hear me? Fuck these motherfuckers and their asshole boss.</i>
</p>
<p>They’d separated him and Joe when they’d breached the entrance, sedating them both so they could chain them up like dogs.</p>
<p>It looks as if they haven’t put them far enough that their new skills aren’t coming in handy.</p>
<p><i>Here</i>, Nicky assures. <i>Are you chained? Can you move?</i> </p>
<p><i>They tied my legs with shitty rope</i>, comes Joe’s response. </p>
<p>Good, that’s good. Rope burn is far preferable to his wrists being sliced off time and again while his body heals and refuses to let him make any progress. It’s not going to stop him trying, screaming loudly when the cuffs dig into bone this time. </p>
<p>“Nicky!” Joe’s voice is tinny, but Nicky can hear it through the pipes, which means he can’t be more than a few rooms away. He must have felt his pain. </p>
<p>He’s not the only one to have noticed the sound. </p>
<p>Their captors enter the room to see the blood on the ground, talking to one another in Hungarian. It’s a new dialect, one that Nicky doesn’t speak very well, but he can tell that they’re debating what to do with him. Nicky is fairly sure they’ve been taken somewhere in the middle of Budapest, so if he keeps screaming, someone might hear him. That’s a risk they don’t want to take.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know the whole language, but he knows enough to be able to tell they’re talking about shooting him in the head and putting an end to their problem.</p>
<p>Nicky can’t help his laugh, which gets his captors attention.</p>
<p>“You didn't get a very good briefing, did you?”</p>
<p>It angers them enough to make their decision for them. He doesn’t know the new dialect, but he does recognize the anger behind the, “Shoot him,” in a language he’s still relearning. Even if he didn’t, there’s no language involved in the firing of a bullet that knocks him back. </p>
<p>Oh, he hopes this is not his time.</p>
<p>Those would’ve been very poor last words. </p>
<p>Nicky wakes with a gasp and finds Joe straddling his body and his hands uncuffed. The bodies of the guards who shot him are nearby, and one of them happens to be missing his head.</p>
<p>
  <i>He’s fine, he’s safe, he’s alive.</i>
</p>
<p>His thoughts are harder to hear as his mind tries to fix itself, and it sends Nicky into a sudden panic that his body might think this is something that requires healing, when it’s a gift he refuses to give back. With every passing moment, though, Joe’s thoughts become crystalline clear and settle. </p>
<p>Nicky sighs in relief to know he hasn’t lost the gift, turning his head to search for the rest of their captors, wondering if they should be expecting more company. Joe squeezes his shoulder, trying to reassure him. “I killed them all,” he vows. “Guards came in for me while these two were in here with you, but I was already free of the ropes. I strangled them until I heard the gunshot,” is Joe’s gritted retelling. “I couldn’t get to you before they tried to kill you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think they only tried,” Nicky admits, rubbing the back of his head where there are still bits of blood and brain. </p>
<p>He grimaces and disposes of the brain matter on his fingertips, thinking that it will be yet another shirt lost. When he seeks Joe out, he finds he’s yet to move, still in distress. </p>
<p>“<i>Hobi</i>, what is it?” </p>
<p>“You went quiet. One minute, you were there with that same steady background noise I’ve come to need, then you were gone and it was silent.” Nicky can hear the roughness in Joe’s voice, the way he’s talking through his emotion, as he always does with Nicky. “I never, not ever, want to have that happen for so long again. Do you hear me, Nicky?”</p>
<p>Nicky nods, reaching for Joe to touch him briefly at all the parts he can. His bloodied face, his neck, his arm, his waist. He touches him to soothe him and ground him, knowing that he never wants to feel the same. </p>
<p>The panic he’d felt at even <i>thinking</i> that maybe he could lose the gift had been horrifying. He can’t begin to imagine the eerie silence of it going away completely. </p>
<p>This is a gift they’ve been given, but just like their immortality, it can be a curse.</p>
<p>They live forever until they don’t.</p>
<p>They’ll hear one another’s thoughts until one day, they stop. Nicky suspects that it will be enough to drive them mad to have that silence in their heads after they’ve grown so used to one another. Joe’s made a home for himself in Nicky’s head, his heart, and his life. He doesn’t want to know what he looks like when those pieces are carved out of him by loss, one day.</p>
<p>That’s the point, though.</p>
<p>“One day, it will be our time,” he says, with the heavy certainty of a man who’s long believed that. “We don’t live like that. We never have,” he reminds Joe, because dreading the future means not living in the present.</p>
<p>With Joe, he has so much to live for.</p>
<p><i>I’m here</i>, he says in his head, as if to remind him that he’s not going anywhere. </p>
<p>And there, becoming more of a permanent presence by the day, is Joe in his thoughts and his mind. There he is. There <i>they</i> are. They’re together, and that means that everything is fine.</p><hr/>
<p>Their skills grow stronger. </p>
<p>With time, they’re able to better control it. It goes from a stray errant thought once in a while to a running soundtrack in the back of Nicky’s mind. He compares it to a babbling brook. It’s soothing to have Joe’s thoughts and if he focuses, he can pick out what he’s thinking. </p>
<p>They’ve yet to leave Budapest, mainly because Nicky has made a point to want to pick up more of the language and Nile wants to go into every hot spring in the city. They’re having lunch along the river in Pest, when something catches Joe’s attention, eliciting an amused thought as he calls Nicky’s attention to a sopping wet cat emerging from the river. </p>
<p>
  <i>That cat kind of looks like Booker after he drowned in the Tiber, doesn’t it?</i>
</p>
<p>Nicky snorts out loud in his laughter, which gets Nile’s attention. She’s looking at him like he’s gone crazy, which isn’t true (he has, before, but only for a very brief period and that had been the fault of some very bad crops). Gesturing with two fingers to Joe, he thinks to explain, “He told a good joke.”</p>
<p>“He didn’t say anything,” Nile counters.</p>
<p>Andy sips her coffee and remains silent.</p>
<p>“We gonna tell her?” Joe mumbles, still busy eating the remnants of Nicky’s lunch from his plate. </p>
<p>“Tell me <i>what</i>?” </p>
<p>“Joe and I, we can read each other’s minds,” Nicky informs her as he sips his cappuccino, as if he’s talking about something so casual as their drink order. “Since the lab.” </p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Nile gapes at them. Her attention whips around to Andy. “Is that gonna happen to me? Because you didn’t say anything about people being able to read my thoughts.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, it’s only Joe’s thoughts I can hear,” Nicky insists. “I can’t tell what you or Andy are thinking.” Even if he can guess. It’s impolite to say those things out loud. </p>
<p>Nile is still staring at him like he’s grown a second head.</p>
<p><i>If you did</i>, Joe thinks, <i>It would be just as handsome as the first.</i> </p>
<p>“That’s not normal. You know that’s not normal,” Nile seems fixed on telling him this. </p>
<p>“We know,” Nicky admits, digging out enough forint to cover their lunch. “And we don’t care,” is the blissful ignorance talking. It’s the sound of a man who’s stopped asking questions centuries ago about why the things that have happened to them did. Finding Joe had been a blessing, and there is nothing about their new connection he regrets.</p>
<p>Joe winks at him across the table and thinks, <i>You’re pretty great to have in my head too</i> and it sends a frisson of electric joy and anticipation through him, a sensation that hasn’t been so heightened since the 14th century.</p>
<p>Andy has not made a single comment, steely and immovable behind her sunglasses. </p>
<p>She knows something. </p>
<p>Nicky intends to find out what. He delays his leaving the table, sending Joe a message to walk ahead of him with Nile. Joe glances between him and Andy, understanding quickly what it is he intends to do, and offers Nile his arm to casually walk, telling her stories about the KGB as if they were friendly neighbours and not a group that tortured them many times in their bunkers and their prisons.</p>
<p>“You’re not surprised,” Nicky says, once he and Andy are alone. </p>
<p>Joe and Nile have taken the lead back to their hotel with Andy and Nicky taking a much slower walk, a proper <i>passeggiata</i> through the streets of Budapest. </p>
<p>“It happened to me and Quynh.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Nicky is filled with dread, mainly because the question he wants to ask must be asked, even if he thinks he can fill in the answer like water rushing to fill a void. “When?” </p>
<p>“The witch trials. It was a moment of heightened adrenaline that connected us on a deeper level. It’s not permanent,” she says, and Nicky breathes out for the blessing that it is, despite the reason Andy <i>knows</i> this. “It mutes, with time and distance. I don’t hear her now, no matter how much I’ve tried to use it to find her.”</p>
<p>“I’m very sorry, Andy,” Nicky offers his condolences, even though he knows Andy does not want them. Knowing she doesn’t want him to linger on sympathies, he moves on to the more practical question. “How is it happening?”</p>
<p>Andy gives him a pained smile. “We don’t even know why we stay alive, but you want to know why this is happening?” </p>
<p>She has a point. Confusion and ignorance have painted so much of their lives before. It seems fruitless to ask why this is happening.  </p>
<p>He can make a guess. If it happened to them upon threat of them being pried apart, and to Andy and Quynh when they actually were. Maybe it’s the proof they need that they are one another’s souls, combined, connected, and finally together.</p>
<p>“Don’t take it for granted,” Andy says evenly. “I only had it for a few days and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”</p>
<p>“I won’t,” he vows, as if he’s going to do it not only for himself and Joe, but for Andy, too.</p>
<p>“Good.” She pulls him in close for a tight hug. “I’m glad you have this with him, but I think Nile and I are going to take on a few missions of our own for a while,” she tells him. It stings, of course, but he understands. It must be hell to look at them at the best of times, but now she knows that they have what she and Quynh did. </p>
<p>She needs a break from them, because she doesn’t want to be a spectator to what she used to have.</p>
<p>Nicky understands, but it stings all the same.</p>
<p>“Got it, boss,” he assures, ever the dutiful soldier aloud. He’s just glad that Andy can’t read his thoughts and that he’s managed to develop a decent enough poker face over the years.</p>
<p>“I’m thinking, a year? We’ll still connect when Copley’s missions need the whole team, but...one year,” she says. </p>
<p>He should protest, given her new mortality. One year is so much longer than it used to be, but she needs time to come to terms with their new gift the same as they do. It would be good, too, Nicky thinks, to have some time to themselves to navigate their new talent and become Nicky &amp; Joe in this new way.</p>
<p>“One year,” Nicky agrees, knowing that Joe will fall in line because it’s Andy. </p>
<p>Right now, he’s pretty sure that neither of them would deny her anything.</p>
<p>Joe is waiting for him under the awning of the hotel. Andy squeezes his shoulder and departs, and Nicky takes advantage of their new talents to give Joe a quick rundown, a shorthand version and the news that they’re not the first to have it happen. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” is all Joe manages, when Nicky is through. </p>
<p>“I can’t imagine,” Nicky lies, because he has imagined it. It’s his worst nightmare, that something should happen to Joe the way it did to Quynh, and there are nights he wakes sweating, only to feel Joe’s secure touch around him that proves that they remain inseparable. </p>
<p>Now, Joe will know those thoughts. </p>
<p>Nicky suspects that he has nightmares of his own, because he doesn’t need to know Joe’s thoughts to catch the longing looks every time they talk about their fallen friends. He’s scared, too, and at least they can be scared together -- like they are in all things, joined and facing it as a united front. </p>
<p>“You said it before,” Joe reminds him. “We don’t live in fear of what’ll happen, we live with what we have.”</p>
<p>Nicky knows this is true. </p>
<p>“Walk with me? We haven’t been to this city in a long time,” Nicky says, reaching for Joe’s hand to defy anyone who would have anything to say about them. </p>
<p>They spend the next few hours wandering around the city. Joe pays for them to take a ferry out to Margaret Island where they drink beers at the cafe and wander aimlessly to see the old ruins of the Franciscan church, reduced to rubble while they stand tall above it, all of them remnants of an older time.</p>
<p>They speak, but never aloud. </p>
<p>Nicky has learned to enjoy the heady rush of Joe’s thoughts in his mind. They take the boat back and curl up together as the sun goes down, two anonymous lovers in a city with nothing to do other than enjoy it.</p>
<p>For all the joy of the day, something is still bothering Nicky.</p>
<p>Andy’s revelation sits with him through the night. He sleeps well, as he always does because Joe is there with him, but her words are there in the back of his head and refuse to leave. In the morning, when the dawn light is slowly spilling into their room, Nicky wakes to the tickle of Joe’s thoughts. </p>
<p>His neck prickles with a ghost’s touch, but when he opens his eyes, Joe is half-asleep and his hands are wrapped snugly around his middle. Fingers are nowhere near the neck, and it gives him a new appreciation for what this new connection can do. </p>
<p>“Joe,” he protests sleepily. <i>I can feel your thoughts</i>, Nicky projects.</p>
<p>Joe groans and buries his face in the back of Nicky’s neck. “Then let me keep thinking, it’s like having an extra arm.” </p>
<p>This is new. Thoughts framed in words had been the start, but it’s grown to something else. It’s as if Joe can trick Nicky’s mind into feeling a touch where there isn’t one, anticipating the stroke of fingers, or the warmth of a kiss. It still pales to the real thing, but it’s not so bad to have both at the same time. </p>
<p>It almost seems like the more they push at it, the more they find themselves capable of.</p>
<p>Instead of filling Nicky with joy, it leaves a worrying ache. </p>
<p>“Stop it,” Joe protests, holding Nicky tighter. “I can hear you worrying. It’s like little droplets of rain on a tin roof.”</p>
<p>“Is it too much?” Nicky wonders. “You have always been half of my whole, I would never wish that you grow tired of me.” He moves to lie on his back so he can look at him while he speaks, his attention fixed on him for any hint of a reaction.</p>
<p>Joe stares at him like he’s just said something very stupid. </p>
<p>Nicky bristles mildly, not because Joe looks at him as if Nicky is suddenly the moon on a cloudy night when he is lost in the woods, but rather it is a serious question and one that he wants an honest answer to. “<i>Yusuf</i>,” he accuses.</p>
<p>“Nicolò,” he counters. “This is a way for me to know that you’re always alright,” he insists, cupping Nicky’s neck with his palm. “Within seconds, I can reach out and know you’re there, that you’re alive, that you’re with me. Even when you die, I know the moment you’re back with me like a light illuminating the darkness. Too much? No. If anything, we spent almost a thousand years not having enough, now that I know we could have had this.” </p>
<p>“Would you have really wanted me in your head in those early years?”</p>
<p>“An infidel’s voice in my mind,” Joe teases.  </p>
<p>“You haven’t called me that in years,” Nicky says, secretly pleased.  </p>
<p>“I think,” Joe says, curling him back into his arms, “that if we could read each other’s thoughts all the way back then, it would’ve saved us a hell of a lot of trouble trying to figure out those first few awkward fucks.” </p>
<p>That gets a snort from Nicky, because even after so many centuries, there are some memories that never fade and those early times between them is one of them. “I will never forget the way you pleaded for oil with the merchants at port with such desperation in your eyes,” Nicky teases fondly. </p>
<p>“It was very important,” Joe insists.</p>
<p><i>I know</i>, thinks Nicky fondly. <i>And it’s one of the moments I knew that I was in love with my enemy, utterly head over heels.</i></p>
<p>Their eyes meet and for a moment, there is no speech, no thought. Even in this silence, they have a connection to each other. </p>
<p>“We don’t ask why we receive our blessings,” Joe reminds him. “We only live them and give thanks that we are so lucky.” </p>
<p>He says nothing, but he thinks, <i>As if I could ever tire of you</i> with the fondness of a man who’s been in love for a millennia, and that is what settles Nicky. It is not too much because he has never been too much, and this new gift is simply more of him. </p>
<p>It is just enough. It is right.</p><hr/>
<p>The year apart from Andy and Nile begins with an easy mission for Joe and Nicky -- recon at a local political fundraiser to map out their target’s mansion.</p>
<p>The most difficult part of this, if anything, is going to be getting ready without getting so distracted that they’re late.</p>
<p>The steam from the bathroom reveals Joe in all his naked glory, only a towel wrapped around his hips, but even that does nothing. Nicky drops the cufflink box in his hand, gaping as the towel around Joe’s waist begins to lose its fight with gravity.</p>
<p>“You know,” Joe says, reaching down to pick up the cufflinks (and dropping the towel in the process), “that the only word you’re thinking right now is <i>naked</i>, right?”</p>
<p>It’s a miracle he’s thinking at all. </p>
<p>“I should be pleased,” Joe admits. “One thousand years in and I can still get you speechless by walking around naked,” he boasts, with the kind of smugness that Nicky would usually like to kiss away, but they’re supposed to be getting ready for a recon mission.</p>
<p>Nicky is, at least, already in the sleek bespoke suit he’d picked up from the dry-cleaners. “You’re very handsome and very naked,” he accuses. “Do you want me thinking that it’s nothing to look at?”</p>
<p>Joe tugs on Nicky’s sleeve to thread the cufflink in, his eyes half-lidded as they roam over Nicky’s body in the suit. “I want you noticing that I haven’t been able to even so much as <i>think</i> with you looking so good,” is his response. </p>
<p>“Yet, you can speak.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense,” Joe insists, ever the romantic poet’s soul. “Bullshit. Anything that comes out because I know I have to behave.” He slides his thumb over the cufflink and pulls on Nicky’s other sleeve. “I like this suit. I haven’t seen this suit since the 50’s.”</p>
<p>“It still fits,” Nicky says proudly. </p>
<p>“You’re poured into it,” Joe groans, affixing the other cufflink in place and giving him a slight push back so he can take a look at him. “<i>Bello</i>,” he praises, his voice pulled down with a need that Nicky feels in his bones.</p>
<p>Why does he always do this before a mission?</p>
<p>“You ask me as if I can control it,” Joe protests in his defense. “I know,” he grumbles. “I know we have a mission…”</p>
<p>“...to go on, yes,” Nicky reminds Joe, handing him the crisply pressed white shirt, even though he thinks it will be a terrible shame to cover up such a perfect model of a man with clothes. <i>Leonardo did know what he was doing when he used you for a model, didn’t he?</i> Nicky thinks. </p>
<p>He ducks to check his hair in the mirror, running his fingers through the lengthening strands. He’ll need a shave soon, probably a cut, but for a recon mission where he needs to look different, it does the trick.</p>
<p>Joe thinks, <i>You look good, habibi</i>, until Nicky practically glows with the praise. </p>
<p>He sends a quick thought back that if he looks good, then Joe looks heavenly in a tailored suit that would make people weep with jealousy.</p>
<p>They have a mission to focus on, with plenty of time later to follow down the rabbit hole of the thoughts in their minds, as intoxicating and tempting as ever. </p>
<p>Until then, they have each other -- steady and secure and present. </p>
<p>“Come on,” Nicky encourages, offering his arm to Joe once he’s put his shoes on and looks so stunning that thoughts flee his mind. “I want to see how jealous I can make everyone of my handsome partner.”</p>
<p>“No doubt, with you thinking smugly that he’s yours the whole time?”</p>
<p>Nicky lifts one shoulder. “You enjoy it.”</p>
<p>Joe leers at him and thinks, <i>You know I do</i>, before he pulls Nicky towards him for one last pre-mission kiss. It’s not for luck, but to ground them in the moment. It’s to synchronize their thoughts, their desires, and their needs, and it leaves Nicky a little dizzy as ever. </p>
<p>A millennia ago, Nicky discovered his soul had been in half when he discovered the other half in Joe. Now, he knows that there are new ways they can be one. </p>
<p>It’s a gift, and it’s one he will treasure every day of his immortal life, because it gives him Joe in <i>all</i> ways. After all, as Joe said, to each other, they really are all and more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. If I could read your mind, love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Six months later, radio silence from the team sparks Joe and Nicky to worry something has happened. Their fears are confirmed when they get a call from Booker, who doesn't know about their new skill and tells them that Quynh is back and she has Andy. With Booker out of the loop about their mind reading and Quynh's motivations unknown, what could possibly go wrong?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm still a bit surprised I wrote a sequel, but shout-out to the comments that encouraged it from the first one, and enjoy this little slice of the 'verse that I never thought I'd add!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been six months since the team went their separate ways. </p>
<p>Six months of Nicky and Joe learning to navigate a new life, where they can read one another’s thoughts. Six months of learning that their love is deeper than they thought possible and of connecting on new levels. Six months, too, of old irritations coming to the surface because now there’s nowhere to hide and trivial complaints are heard by each other even though in the past, they would never have made an issue of it.</p>
<p>It’s also become clear, six months in, that something has gone wrong with the rest of their team. </p>
<p>It’s not unlike Andy to let them go for so long, but things are different now that she’s mortal and Booker has been exiled. There’s also Nile’s silence to consider, who’s been checking in for the most part, right up until about a month ago. The fact that they’ve been completely radio-silent for the last month is strange and Joe finds it impossible to shake the thought from mind that something terrible must have happened.</p>
<p><i>I know,</i> Nicky’s voice in his mind soothes, from where he’s chopping peppers for dinner. <i>I was just thinking that we should call them</i>.</p>
<p>Joe knows that, because Joe knows every one of Nicky’s thoughts. Ever since they split ways with the team, their connection has only grown stronger. Joe theorizes that it might have to do with the fact that he and Nicky have had so much time that’s just the two of them, but the time has been a blessing. It’s allowed them to hone their ability and create things like walls and barriers, along with testing out volume control. They’ve turned their gift into a weapon and a tool like anything else they might wield -- as something that can be mastered and perfected. </p>
<p>“If they still haven’t reached out next week,” Joe says, fetching cutlery for their dinner. <i>Then we’ll reach out</i>.</p>
<p>Nicky agrees with a nod of his head and a comforting little mental nudge, like a forehead pressed to Joe’s. They settle in for dinner, which turns into a half-eaten meal when Nicky lets his foot wander a little too casually under the table, his warm toes nudging against Joe’s calf in a way that reminds Joe that one hunger can easily be replaced by another. </p>
<p><i>Nicky</i>, Joe mentally warns.</p>
<p>Nicky smiles at him innocently. “What was that? I can’t hear you,” he deadpans, pushing his fork through the food. “I was going through a mind tunnel.”</p>
<p>Joe growls at him, grabs his plate of food, and moves it out of the way so that when he crawls on top of the table to get to him, they don’t ruin their leftovers. Nicky laughs so brightly that Joe thinks angels would be envious of how pure and beautiful it sounds. He pins Nicky to the table and goes about making it so that not a single word comes out of his mouth.</p>
<p>The non-stop litany of praise in his mind, though, is a heady thing that Joe’s quickly become addicted to. </p>
<p>Joe forgets to be concerned about the team’s absence, distracted by the strong line of Nicky’s bare back, the way his lips go slick with Joe’s come when he goes down on him, and the contrast of his fingers pressing white marks against Nicky’s hips as he fucks him, slow and steady. </p>
<p>Honestly, forget the team.</p>
<p>It’s a miracle Joe still knows his <i>name</i> by the end of the night.</p>
<p>They spend their days tangled up together. Their bodies, their minds, their intentions. Slowly, almost to the point that Joe doesn’t notice it, their separate identities continue to knit together in such a way that bonds them like no one could have predicted. </p>
<p>It’s easy to forget about his worry about the team’s lack of contact when Nicky smiles at him like that, or when Nicky’s thoughts stray towards thinking about how good Joe feels in his arms. </p>
<p>Reality, though, comes crashing in less than a week later. Before their self-imposed deadline can arrive, a phone call breaks through their bliss. </p>
<p>Nicky’s burner phone rings at two in the morning. He instantly starts, jolted from Joe’s arms, and his thoughts are sleepy, in Italian as they always are these days, but far more blurry and harder for Joe to pinpoint. He gets enough to understand that he’s panicked and worried, because only a few people in the world have that phone number.</p>
<p>“<i>Pronto</i>,” Nicky mumbles, setting his gun down once he’s realized there is no immediate threat in the room. </p>
<p>Joe doesn’t hear the voice at the other end of the line, but he doesn’t have to.</p>
<p>The overwhelming shock and relief that washes through Joe is enough for him to understand exactly who it is, especially when Nicky’s instant next thought is an apology to Joe and a swarming feeling of guilt, because he’d felt relieved and happy to hear the voice at the other end.</p>
<p>That can only mean one person.</p>
<p>“Put Booker on speaker,” Joe instructs. </p>
<p>Nicky does so, right in the middle of Booker’s sentence. </p>
<p>“...wanted to wait to call you until we could figure it out, but with Andy gone…”</p>
<p>“What the fuck do you mean, with Andy gone?” Joe snaps.</p>
<p>“Best as we can tell, Quynh took her.”</p>
<p>Joe and Nicky exchange a fraught look. They go silent, because there’s no need to speak. Between them, a flurry of thoughts are being exchanged, rapid and frantic and in their varying languages as they work through when they’re getting on a plane to join the others, what Quynh being free means, and what they’re going to do about it.</p>
<p>“...Hello?” Booker’s voice comes over the line. “Are you two still there?”</p>
<p>Does this mean that Booker hasn’t been told about their new skill? He seems genuinely puzzled at their sudden silence.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you call us right away?” Nicky demands. Even without the ability to read Nicky’s mind, Joe would’ve known how hurt he is that they’ve been kept out of the loop by his tone. He hears Nicky chanting in his head, <i>for our own good, for our own…</i> only Joe’s not having that. </p>
<p>“We should’ve been your first call!” he agrees, vehemently forceful. The very <i>idea</i> of keeping them out of the loop while they <i>tried</i> to solve it rankles Joe. </p>
<p>“Look, I’m calling now,” Booker says gruffly. “Quynh came to me first, I refused to help her. She said she didn’t need me to achieve her goals and took off. Next thing I know, Nile is on my doorstep and Andy is missing. We tracked her location, but we need help.”</p>
<p>The traitor is asking them to help. </p>
<p><i>It’s not for him</i>, Nicky corrects that mistake. <i>We do this for Andy</i>.</p>
<p>Right. They have to work with the traitor, but it’s for Andy. It makes this tolerable, if a bit miserable.</p>
<p>“Send us the coordinates,” Joe says, wishing he didn’t feel so panicked with how many unknowns they’re facing. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.” He reaches over to end the call before Booker can say anything else. </p>
<p>Between the two of them, shock permeates their connection. Nicky’s not thinking anything and Joe’s fairly sure his mindscape is empty, too. Eventually, though, thoughts start to creep back in. <i>Do you think she knows Andy is mortal?</i> thinks Nicky before continuing aloud, “What must her mind be like?”</p>
<p>Joe dreads the combination of Quynh’s mental state being as dangerous and unpredictable as the sea itself, combined with Andy’s new ability to bleed and suffer. Worse, he feels another bolt of fear that, when they arrive, Quynh will take that same anger out on Nicky in some way.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about me,” Nicky chides. “Not when I’m already worried she will seek revenge on you.”</p>
<p>“We searched,” he protests, even though he knows it’s not Nicky he has to convince. Even if they could, is Quynh really going to believe them? They didn’t find her, that’s the beginning and end of what actually matters.</p>
<p>“Someone else found her,” is Nicky’s matter-of-fact final word on the subject. Or, worse, the thought that rattles through Nicky’s mind is a fear Joe is trying not to name. <i>Or nobody found her at all and she had to rescue herself</i>.</p>
<p>The phone dings with coordinates from Booker. </p>
<p><i>Sicily</i>, thinks Nicky, with some relief. He’s probably grateful for familiar terrain. </p>
<p>Joe doesn’t echo that relief. Nicky furrows his brow to ask why. </p>
<p>“An island by the sea,” is all Joe says to Nicky’s silent question. “If I were seeking revenge, and I were very poetic, I would want to do it near water.” Suddenly, Joe is hoping that Quynh is not inspired by any of Joe’s past proclamations that there should be poetry in everything. </p>
<p>Nicky nods, a dark pall falling over him. “I’ll pack our things,” he says. </p>
<p>To Sicily they go, to work with Booker again and to find Andy. And, thinks Joe, to see Quynh for the first time in nearly five hundred years.</p>
<p><i>I know</i>, Nicky promises, reaching over to rest his hand atop Joe’s. <i>I’m scared too.</i></p>
<p>It is the first time since the lab that Joe wishes Nicky couldn’t read his mind. Right now, he’d give anything to be able to project a strong confidence that everything will be okay. With Nicky able to sense and read every fear and doubt, he can’t do that. </p>
<p>Instead, they will be scared and worried and fret together.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The buzzing in his head aches. Nicky rubs at his head to try and calm it down, but he knows it’s not going to stop. It’s been like this since they landed in Italy, on their way towards Sicily for the coordinates Booker had sent. </p>
<p>“Joe,” Nicky says, calmly as he can. <i>You’re going to give me a migraine</i>.</p>
<p>It’s the constant buzz of anxiety and grief and hate that transcends thoughts. They’ve learned over the last six months that there are times when their connection can’t be captured in words and instead, it transforms into <i>noise</i>.</p>
<p>“Your silence is irritating <i>my</i> head,” Joe snaps. </p>
<p>Nicky hopes that the silence is suitably icy at Joe’s retort. The hum of the boat’s engine as they sail towards Sicily fills the air for the next few moments, until Nicky hears a recalcitrant knock at a metaphorical door in his head.</p>
<p><i>I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped</i>. </p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Nicky says, eyes on the sea. “We process our fear and anger in different ways.”</p>
<p>They’ve just never had circumstances like this to test it, when they’re both pushed to the very edge. It’s the first time since the lab that they’re dealing with this and with an amplified connection. It turns out they’re very poor at it. It almost feels a little like being back in the 12th century when they were still sounding one another out to understand how they worked. </p>
<p>They’ve been in a honeymoon bubble since they parted ways with Nile and Andy, where the worst thing that happened was Joe came back with a shallot instead of a red onion. They didn’t have to deal with how they reacted to bad news, never mind news of the potentially catastrophic variety.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the stakes are so much higher.  </p>
<p><i>It’s okay</i>, Joe reassures him, clearly feeling Nicky’s concern. “If we can survive murdering each other constantly, we can survive this.”</p>
<p>There’s no deceit and not a shred of a grudge in Joe’s words, which is good enough for Nicky. He closes his eyes and focuses on his love so that’s what goes back through the connection, and it seems to soothe Joe. They’re not perfect and there’s sure to be more disagreements, but given the situation, it’s the detente they need.</p>
<p>Nile is waiting for them when they arrive at the ferry terminal. Nicky feels the relief strike him and he swears his shoulders drop as he releases the tension, glad to see it’s her and not <i>him</i>.</p>
<p>He knows they’re going to be working with Booker, but he’s been paranoid about how Joe would react to him since they left. It’s been one of the sources of the noise in Joe’s head, and for once, Nicky is grateful that his emotions aren’t crystallizing into thoughts. He’d stood by the banishment and agreed because Booker’s actions deserved consequences.</p>
<p>He’s just not sure that a hundred years is truly fair. It’s a very long time, not only for Booker, but also for <i>them</i>.</p>
<p>“Don’t feel sorry for that piece of shit,” Joe grinds out, which only solidifies Nicky’s worry about how tense the next few days are going to be.</p>
<p>“I would have chosen fifty,” Nicky says calmly. “That’s all.”</p>
<p>Nile beckons them towards a rental car, popping the trunk once they’re close to load up their luggage. “We’re not going far, but we want to take you right to our base of operations. It’s a houseboat Booker rented a few piers down from where we think Quynh is holed up.” Nicky takes the backseat and lets Joe sit in the front to talk with Nile about the situation as they make their drive towards the houseboat. </p>
<p>She hadn’t been lying about how close they are. </p>
<p>The drive to the slip is only ten minutes, but once they arrive, Joe’s in no hurry to get out. </p>
<p>“Can we have a minute?” Nicky asks Nile, trying to be as polite as possible, once they get out of the car.</p>
<p>Her gaze slides between the two of them, clearly anxious. “Don’t waste time. Who knows what Quynh might be doing to Andy.” She does give them their time, which doesn’t need to be long. Nicky only wants to make sure that Joe is ready to see Booker again.</p>
<p><i>We’ve handled worse</i>, he thinks pointedly.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Joe gets out through gritted teeth, staring fixedly forward.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t ask you to,” Nicky vows, wrapping an arm around Joe’s shoulder to bring him closer, walking them towards Nile. <i>I don’t think we should keep this from him, but we also shouldn’t put it in his face</i>. </p>
<p>Nile’s gaze flickers between them, raising a brow as if asking if there’s a private conversation going on.</p>
<p>Nicky nods, to give Joe the time to respond.</p>
<p><i>You want to coddle him because he’s a</i>, “piece of shit,” Joe snaps the last bit out loud. “I’m not babying him because he made a bad decision years ago. If he can’t handle the fact that you and I can hear each other’s thoughts, then he can find another group of scientists to sell us out to, but then I’m putting him in the ocean.”</p>
<p>“Joe,” Nile cuts in. “He’s on his best behavior,” she vows. “Maybe you don’t trust him, but trust me,” she says firmly. “Please?”</p>
<p><i>Yes, Joe</i>, thinks Nicky. <i>Please</i>?</p>
<p>They will be out of here soon enough and Booker will be sent back to his exile. Nicky doesn’t want to do anything to cause more chaos and he doesn’t want this to become an incident that causes them years of stress. He’s already got a headache from his own displeasure magnified by Joe’s, he doesn’t need it to get worse.</p>
<p>Luckily, Nile has played to her strengths. “For you, Nile,” Joe agrees, nodding. “Anything.”</p>
<p>Even trusting Booker, it looks like. </p>
<p>Nicky holds out his hand to Joe, a token of peace, wanting to make sure they’re okay. He knows that Joe is angry at Booker, not him, but sometimes with their thoughts, there’s no way to direct that anger, and it gets confusing. Joe takes his hand, squeezes, and sends a promise that he’ll behave, because he has to.</p>
<p>
  <i>For Andy.</i>
</p>
<p>“And for Quynh,” Nicky agrees out loud, catching Nile’s worried gaze.</p>
<p>“We’re heading out tomorrow morning,” Nile says, briefing them as they head towards the inside of the boat. “Here’s what we know....”</p>
<p>It’s a relief to be able to focus on the plan and not their own emotional minefields. Whatever they each feel about Booker’s actions fade into the background because they need all the allies they can get, and all the better if they’re people that Quynh can’t predict.  </p>
<p>There’s silence in Nicky’s head, a sign that Joe’s slipped into focusing on the mission. It’s only a passing thought, a moment of praise, but Nicky thinks, <i>good work, Joe</i>, and the frisson of pleasure he gets from Joe makes all the fears vanish.</p>
<p>There is no noise, no silence, no obstacle so great that they can’t face -- not together.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Heading out on the mission confirms one advantage to the situation -- it focuses them on a task, which means the combined noise between the two of their thoughts about Booker quiets down into a hush as they focus on getting Andy back. </p>
<p>The bond stays quiet through their icy reunion with Booker, the meeting, and even suiting up for the mission. There’s no time to focus on Booker’s presence or the way he seems to try and submit to anything they might ask, not when Andy is still out there. Joe wants to snap at him, tell him that he owes them more than a few modest agreements <i>and</i> his exile, but the truth is that his worry for Andy outweighs his anger at Booker.</p>
<p>Somewhere in there, his fear of Quynh is playing a strong role, too.</p>
<p>They’ve decided to strike at dawn, giving them the cover of darkness to reach positions, but the light of day to make their moves. Joe and Nicky have split up to take out the guards, leaving Booker and Nile to make the primary assault to search the grounds for Andy. When Joe and Nicky reach them, they’ll take on Quynh when they have the numbers.</p>
<p>Joe watches Nicky settle with his rifle, digging out his binoculars to get a better look at the houseboat that Quynh’s made her fortress of. </p>
<p><i>Two targets</i>, thinks Nicky, his fingers silently gesturing in their direction. </p>
<p>Joe’s eyes flicker to the muscle on the dock. Quynh’s not taking any chances, but luckily, Quynh hasn’t been around for long enough to know about how good Nicky is with a rifle. His pride must flicker through the bond, because he catches Nicky’s note of supreme pleasure given Joe’s thoughts. </p>
<p>He fires four shots in quick succession, tranquilizer darts sticking out of the necks of the men on the dock. They’ll sleep a very long time, but they aren’t dead. They’re just lucky that they’re not in the mood to leave bodies on this mission. Through the binoculars, Joe watches Booker and Nile case the boat from the dock, staying out of sight in an attempt to give them some element of surprise with Quynh. His thoughts are still on Nicky’s large hands on the rifle, thinking of how good he is with it and how much Joe likes watching him exude powerful competence. </p>
<p>“<i>Grazie, amore</i>,” Nicky says aloud.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to thank me for being so impressed by your skills, or you’d never be shutting up,” Joe reminds him. </p>
<p>Still, Nicky grins at him. “Thank you anyway,” he says fondly. Joe shifts back to his view on the binoculars, waiting for the signal from the boat that they’ve found Andy. At some point, they will have to think about something other than the mission. They will have to talk about how Joe’s wounds have been flayed open again and his love for Booker is being forced to compete with the betrayal he feels.</p>
<p>He can feel Nicky’s mind pinging at him, a reminder that it’s okay to feel hurt, even though he knows that it’s borne of being the one who loved Booker maybe not best, but certainly loudest. </p>
<p>The flare burning above the boat also guarantees the conversation will get to wait. </p>
<p>That’s the signal -- it’s not exactly one of Andy’s flashy and obvious ones, but it does the trick.</p>
<p><i>Let’s go</i>, thinks Joe, already moving. </p>
<p>He doesn’t have to look back, not needing to worry about Nicky following when he has a direct tie to his mind. The minute they reach Quynh’s boat, Nicky reaches forward to squeeze Joe’s shoulder, encouraging him to move along while Nicky climbs on top of the boat, which will give him cover and the height he needs to establish a sniper’s nest.</p>
<p>“Be safe,” Nicky warns, as Joe keeps moving towards the front of the boat, where the noise is.</p>
<p><i>Keep the line open</i>, Joe thinks in return, giving him a nod of confirmation. </p>
<p>With Nicky protecting them from his sniper’s nest, Joe keeps moving, leading with his pistol despite the awareness that it’s all futile. The only one of them who might actually get hurt is Andy. The thought of a stray bullet piercing her skin has Joe sliding his pistol away, switching to the scimitar, though he knows that if Quynh wants Andy hurt, they won’t be able to do a thing. He ducks out of the shadow of the boat’s awning, discovering Booker and Nile with their guns on Quynh, who’s holding Andy like a shield. </p>
<p>“There you are,” Quynh observes, sounding calm and well-spoken for a woman who’s been under the sea for centuries.</p>
<p>She sounds furious and Joe doesn’t blame her, but the trouble is that she has Andy and it’s not like they have a list of demands. </p>
<p>“Were you waiting on us, sister?”</p>
<p>“Don’t call me that,” she hisses at him. “I might have been your sister years ago, but that’s been erased. Everything has been erased, been taken, been nullified.” Her face is wrought with terror and panic and fury, and suddenly, Joe remembers what Andy once told them.</p>
<p>She and Quynh had been able to connect the way he and Nicky could, had been able to read one another’s minds and thoughts and hearts, up until the day Quynh sank so deeply that it severed the bond between them.  </p>
<p>“What do you want, Quynh?” Joe negotiates, since Booker and Nile have yet to move. They’ve got their guns on Quynh, but given that Quynh has yet to budge or let Andy go, not to mention Andy seems to be in a holding pattern and isn’t giving any orders, there’s not much they can do.</p>
<p>“I want her back!”</p>
<p>“You have me,” Andy chokes out, past Quynh’s tight grip on her neck. </p>
<p>“Not the way I want,” she says darkly, brow furrowed as she presses her forehead aggressively to Andy’s temple, as if trying to force something. The sound of anguished grief in her ensuing wail breaks Joe’s heart, but he doesn’t have long before his sympathy gives way to fear, when Quynh’s eyes land on him. “Andromache told me that you two have developed a new skill,” Quynh says, her fingers pressing tighter against Andromache’s throat with her hold. “Something I thought only we shared, but it turns out that we were never that special to begin with.”</p>
<p>“Quynh,” Joe pleads. “We didn’t take anything from you with it.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t you?” she accuses. “Our connection is muddied, dim, but you have Nicolo. You have him! And you don’t deserve what we had, you haven’t been together as long,” she accuses, furious and wild. Every new pronouncement tightens her hold on Andy, but Andy’s not going lax and taking it. “You don’t deserve to have what we did, not when I’ve suffered and I don’t have her back. It’s so weak, it’s barely there, and you get to have him. It’s not fair, Yusuf, and you know it.”</p>
<p>She’s fighting back, struggling against Quynh’s hold. Joe can’t read her mind, but he can see the way she’s trying to align herself to get her heel in the right place. She makes a show of struggling, forcing Quynh to hold her down while diverting some of her energy to arguing with Joe. When Quynh’s in the midst of her rant, gearing up to fight some more, Andy jams her heel down on Quynh’s instep, releasing her unwillingly. </p>
<p>The minute Quynh’s fingers loosen her hold, Andy takes the opportunity and bolts, right into Nile’s waiting arms. </p>
<p><i>Take the shot</i>, Joe thinks at Nicky.</p>
<p>He sees Nicky shift the rifle towards Quyn out of the corner of his eye, he sees the way his finger brushes the trigger, but he doesn’t fire.</p>
<p>“Nicky!” Joe shouts at him.</p>
<p>“Do you think he’s not listening to you?” Quynh challenges. “Or maybe your connection is eroding, the same way that mine did with Andromache. I can help that along,” she threatens, her voice steely. “It’s only right, to put you at the bottom of the sea, and make you experience what I did.”</p>
<p>She lunges for a set of chains, then for Joe. </p>
<p>He thinks, <i>no, not like this, don’t let this happen to me and Nicky</i>, before the situation rapidly escalates.</p>
<p>Two things happen in quick succession. Andy shouts out a warning and grabs Quynh by the wrists to stop her getting her hands on Joe. Then, the sound of a bullet cracks through the air, sending Quynh staggering back, a hand on her chest. Suddenly, the white linen shirt she’s wearing is pink, then red, deepening to burgundy with every passing second. </p>
<p>When she laughs, it’s a gurgling sound. </p>
<p>“I guess he heard you after all,” she says, collapsing on the boat deck, her blood staining the wood. It’s an ugly death, as she chokes on her own blood, drowning on dry land. </p>
<p>Joe hates himself more in this moment than he ever has as his shoulders sink with relief both at the sight of a disarmed Quynh and for the steady presence of Nicky in his mind promising, <i>I always hear you</i>. </p>
<p>“Tie her up,” Booker says quietly, unable to look at Joe or Andy as he says it. Joe startles at the sound of his voice, having forgotten about his and Nile’s presence until this very moment. His world had shrunk down to Quynh and her threats, sending him retreating into the space in his mind that he and Nicky share.</p>
<p>Reminded of them, Joe leverages their presence as he hands rope to Nile. She kneels to tie her legs, leaving Booker to secure her hands behind her back. </p>
<p>While he does, Booker’s gaze flickers up to Joe. “What did she mean? Your connection?” </p>
<p>Bitterness floods Joe, a gruesome and twisting thing inside him that wants to snap that Booker has no right to ask when he’d accused their love for one another as being part of the reason for his betrayal. Still, he can’t help himself. “In the lab, Nicky and I started to hear each other, our thoughts,” he says calmly. “Thanks to you,” is accusatory, because even if Joe will always be grateful for this new bond, it’s not the way he would have wanted to develop it.</p>
<p>Booker doesn’t reply, only nods as if he deserves it.</p>
<p>He does and he doesn’t, but Joe’s too tired to think about that. </p>
<p>Nicky descends from the top of the boat, at Joe’s side as they watch Andy pick Quynh up in her arms. She’s healing and coming back to consciousness, which is a bad thing given how she’s beginning to twist, shouting frantically for someone to help her. If she keeps this up, they’re going to attract too much attention.</p>
<p>“Andy,” Joe pleads quietly. </p>
<p>“I know,” Andy says, even though she doesn’t sound happy about it. “Booker?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, boss,” he agrees roughly, handing over a loaded syringe. </p>
<p>Joe turns away as they drug Quynh, knowing that it’s for the best, but it will do nothing to rid her words from his mind. It’s an ugly harmony of Booker’s words, an implication that what they have has caused someone else pain. He looks over to Nicky, staring at him tenderly with a knowing look.</p>
<p><i>She didn’t mean it</i>, Nicky vows.</p>
<p>Joe wishes he could believe that. The trouble is, people who ache so deeply rarely lie about what’s driven them there. He knows he and Nicky don’t truly shoulder the blame for Quynh’s actions in stealing Andy and threatening harm on him, but some part of her believes everything she’d said. Joe wordlessly climbs the ladder to the top of the boat with Nicky in pursuit. He waits for Nicky to disassemble his rifle and lock it back in its case, before stepping wordlessly into his arms to hold him.</p>
<p>They have Quynh back. Yet, parts of her are missing. </p>
<p><i>I wouldn’t last</i>, Joe thinks. “She’s right,” he admits roughly, pressing his forehead to Nicky’s temple, an echo of a moment he’d disarmed moments ago, without the severity or the roughness. “I wouldn’t last if we lost this. If she took it away…”</p>
<p>“She didn’t,” Nicky insists firmly. “She can’t.”</p>
<p><i>How do you know that?</i> Joe wonders, because it’s not as if Andy and Quynh had let it happen to them. </p>
<p>“I have faith,” is Nicky’s calm response, as if invoking such a virtue will steady Joe’s panic. “Not in God,” he clarifies, able to read Joe’s doubt. “In us. In Andy, even in Quynh. I have faith that we have all learned our lesson and we will fight to make sure it never happens again, not to <i>any</i> of us.”</p>
<p>That’s better. Joe’s heart steadies, the pulse reducing to something lulled and calm, as it always does with Nicky in his arms.</p>
<p>“Hate to interrupt your little lovefest,” Andy calls up wryly from the slip, “but we need to move her to the other houseboat and I could use some help. Joe?”</p>
<p><i>One more minute</i>, he thinks, as Nicky cups his neck with a steady palm, brushing kisses to his temple and promises of his love, his affection, and his <i>presence</i>, in more ways than one.</p>
<p>“Joe,” Nile calls up to echo the call. </p>
<p>He glances down to the deck to see Booker holding Quynh’s tied feet, with Nile and Andy on either side of her arms. They look like they have it handled, but Joe can see the way Andy’s hands are shaking. It’s not the weight of Quynh’s body, he knows, but the weight of what they’ve done and the reckoning that’s coming.</p>
<p>“Go,” Nicky encourages, releasing Joe to descend and take over for Andy, giving her a gentle nudge. </p>
<p>Joe lifts Quynh with a shoulder, helping Booker and Nile to bring her back to the houseboat that Booker had rented. It’s a small miracle how close it is. Once they get inside, Booker reaches for a strong oak chair that they settle Quynh into, retying her bonds firmly so that she won’t be able to break free and try anything else. </p>
<p><i>Wrong, it’s wrong, this is wrong</i>...</p>
<p>Joe massages his temples, the circular rhythm of Nicky’s thoughts beginning to press into his head. He sees Nicky startle and apologize, but it’s not his fault. Joe reaches over to squeeze his shoulder, paying attention to Booker’s description of the security system in place on the slim chance that Quynh <i>does</i> escape. “Hush, Nicolo. Until we can settle her, this is the best option,” Joe says.</p>
<p>Booker scoffs, looking between the two of them with some uncertainty, clearly shaken by the fact that Nicky hadn’t actually said anything aloud for Joe to soothe.</p>
<p>“Right,” he says, flicking his finger between the two of them. “You know, I thought you two were insufferable before…”</p>
<p>“Finish that sentence,” Nicky cuts him off, his words sharper than most of Andy’s axe blades. “We can discover a punishment worse than banishment.” </p>
<p>Booker lifts his hands to promise yet another truce, backing away to return to setting up the security while Joe rubs a hand over his temple, the weight of the day, the mood, and Nicky’s sharp thoughts mingling together to create a splitting headache.</p>
<p><i>I’m sorry, amore, I didn’t mean to hurt your head.</i> </p>
<p>Joe can’t help his fond smile, because only Nicky can be concerned that his thoughts are giving Joe a headache at the same time as he’s threatening to punish Booker for commenting on something he has no business talking about. </p>
<p>“It’s fine,” he promises Nicky, squeezing his shoulder again, holding onto it like a lifeline. “I’m going to check on Andy. Are you okay to hold down the fort?” What he’s truly asking is if he’s going to be okay to sit there and look at Quynh, drugged and tied up; not so much their family at this moment, but instead a captive. </p>
<p><i>I’ll survive</i>, Nicky promises. “Make sure Andy is fine,” he adds aloud, giving Booker a cutting look that dares him to say something.</p>
<p>Booker, smarter in these last few years, doesn’t.  </p>
<p>Joe’s glad. The last thing he wants is another fight together -- physical or otherwise -- and he takes the moment of truce to leave before tensions can descend. He’s sure that the reprieve is only temporary and that once Quynh fights off the effects of the sedative, the tension will be thick enough to cut with a knife. Until then, they have a brief moment of respite to come to terms with their new reality. </p>
<p>He doesn’t have to go very far before he finds the woman he’s seeking.</p>
<p>“Boss,” Joe says, finding Andy standing a little way down the dock, throwing pebbles into the sea. He joins her, lining their bodies up until they’re shoulder to shoulder, that press of warmth a steady connection he thinks he needs as much as she might. “How are you doing with all this?”</p>
<p>He watches Andy tighten her grip around the pebbles in her hand, small marks imprinted in skin when she loosens her grip to throw another into the sea. </p>
<p>Finally, after three more have sunk to the bottom, she speaks. “She’s alive.”</p>
<p>“She is,” Joe agrees, his voice calm. “You don’t sound too happy about that.”</p>
<p>“It would have been easier if she were dead. Then I wouldn’t have given up on her.” </p>
<p>Inside his mind, Nicky is asking if Andy is okay. Beyond that, he’s gently nudging Joe towards asking the question that’s been on both their minds, something that they haven’t been able to stop thinking about since news of Quynh’s return hit them.</p>
<p>“Is she there? In your head?”</p>
<p>Slowly, Andy nods. “I don’t know whether I should consider it a blessing or a curse. As far as I can tell, when she came out of the water, our connection began to restore. Slow at first, too slowly for her seeing as she kidnapped me to try and speed it along. It’s almost like it was still drowned, but now…”</p>
<p>She closes her eyes, but there’s a pain in her eyes, almost as if she’s veering towards naming it definitively as a curse. </p>
<p>“It’s the noise, isn’t it?” </p>
<p>Andy nods, the movement slow and exhausted. “It’s like screaming. It’s all rage and grief. On the outside, she’s holding it together. She’s composed. She’s calm. Inside…” She looks exhausted, and Joe can only imagine. When he and Nicky argue, it drains on him, wears him out. He can only imagine what it’s like having Quynh raging like that. “I’m still relieved. She’s there. She’s still mine,” she says, a possessive note in her voice. “She didn’t want me dead, Joe, she just wanted me <i>back</i>.”</p>
<p>“There are better ways to have done it,” Joe points out. </p>
<p>“Are you really planning to lecture her on her manners?” Andy asks wryly.</p>
<p>Joe laughs ruefully, shaking his head. “No. I’m just glad she’s back, too, even if it’ll take some getting used to.” He glances back over his shoulder to the boat. “Nicky wants to untie her. Thinks it’s wrong to keep any of us bound like this, after what happened.”</p>
<p>“He has a point,” Andy admits.</p>
<p>“He does, but he’s wrong,” Joe cheerfully argues, with steel in his eyes. He understands as much as any of them what it means to be bound and tied, but they’re not Merrick. They’re not keeping her like that forever. “How long until the connection restores fully?”</p>
<p>Andy has yet to take her eyes off the boat, as if drawn back to Quynh. Joe wonders if she’s stirring, if her thoughts are starting to surface in Andy’s mind, muted as they are. “Seeing as I’ve got limited time left, I’m hoping not long.” She gives Joe a rueful smile. “I started to wonder, you know, if maybe I became mortal the minute she got free.”</p>
<p>Joe shakes his head, not understanding how the two could be connected.</p>
<p>“My punishment,” Andy says quietly, “for giving up on her. That when she did find her freedom, it became my time.”</p>
<p>It’s bullshit and Joe says as much out loud. “Besides,” he follows that up, “there’s no God, right?” he echoes Andy’s words, even if he’s not sure he believes it himself. “So who’s up there punishing you, other than yourself?” </p>
<p>He sees it. He sees the moment Andy’s lips curve up, and he knows he’s got her. Joe bumps his shoulder against hers, eager to see that little smirk turn into something greater. He’s rewarded quickly, as Andy laughs and nods, like he’s got her there. </p>
<p>“Don’t let go of him,” is what she says, once she’s settled. </p>
<p>Of all the promises Joe has ever had to make, that’s the easiest one. “Never,” he vows. He’s been given a cautionary tale of what happens if he does, and he plans to honour Andy and Quynh by observing it as best as he can. </p>
<p>Nothing is going to pry Nicky away from him, not God, not humanity, not a soul; they bore the brunt of that price once, and he refuses to pay it again. Nicky is his. They are connected. They are destined.</p>
<p>In the back of his mind, he feels Nicky’s steady, smug presence.</p>
<p>
  <i>See? I’m glad you acknowledge that I’m right about us. It’s destiny.</i>
</p>
<p>Joe laughs brightly, even though Andy gives him a strange look. “Nicky,” he explains, “is a smug, self-satisfied bastard sometimes,” he says, even though he knows he won’t get any argument from her.</p>
<p>
  <i>And you love me for it.</i>
</p>
<p>Yes, Joe thinks. Yes, he absolutely does.</p>
<hr/>
<p>They leave Andy with the others, both because despite everything, Nicky trusts that Nile and Booker will keep her safe and also because Andy had insisted. She wants the time with Quynh to repair and patch whatever has broken, something that Nicky understands, even if it’s enough to make him wary, given recent events.</p>
<p>They’ve also made an agreement that whatever Nile and Andy decide to do with Booker, he and Joe will honour. In Nicky’s opinion, it’s not worth the headache for him and Joe to keep arguing about it.</p>
<p>It’s better if they leave this choice in someone else’s hands. </p>
<p>Booker tries to speak to them before they leave. It’s clear he’s had time to think, but also clear that he’s still not sure of the right words. “I fucked up,” is what he has. “I know you need more time. I think I do, too.” Nicky isn’t sure that means the exile will continue, but he does know it means that there will be years yet before he, Joe, and Booker will return to the brotherhood they once shared.</p>
<p>“Lucky for us, that’s what we have the most of,” Nicky promises. “Thank you for calling us. Thank you for helping to bring her back.”</p>
<p>Booker nods, eyes sliding to where Joe is standing at Nicky’s side, silently glowering during this whole conversation. “I would have done it for any of you,” he vows, and leaves them with their bags and the keys to the rental car, so they can make the trip away from the docks and to their home on the island. </p>
<p><i>Do you believe him?</i> Joe wonders, as they stand there watching Booker join Nile and Andy on the bow of the boat.</p>
<p>Nicky studies him for a long moment and thinks, <i>I do</i>. “I think maybe now he has something to live for.” It might not be the companionship he’d sought before, but he has a new immortal in Nile and a jaded immortal bound for grief in Quynh. He can see the fractures in their team, not because of their thoughts or their belief, but in their experience.</p>
<p>In a hundred years, Quynh will be as lost and wrought with grief as Booker. She’ll need someone who understands. Maybe that will be his purpose, while Joe and Nicky keep their distance for a time until that grief fades. </p>
<p>“Let’s go,” Joe encourages. “We’ve got five years to ourselves,” he says with a sparkle in his eye, reminding Nicky of the agreement they’d made with the others, “and I don’t want to waste a single moment of it.” </p>
<p>It’s not far to get to their home. Quickly, their focus goes towards fixing up a place they haven’t been for decades. The mattresses have to be unwrapped, the entire villa cleaned, and the pantries restocked before it can be livable, but they both throw themselves fully into the task, eager and grateful for the distraction. They drag sheets off termite-infested furniture and find old relics they’ve forgotten about, but despite time and nature attempting to decay it from the inside out, it’s home.</p>
<p>With their work done, it’s a place they can spend years in, if they choose. </p>
<p>One night, soon after they’ve arrived, Nicky finds Joe waiting for him in the yard of their little Sicilian house. He sits under the lemon trees, beautiful in the moonlight. The others don’t know about this house, a property under the name Nicolò Al-Kaysani, and it makes it all the more special to be here knowing that they have all the time in the world. </p>
<p><i>You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen</i>, thinks Nicky absently, drifting into Joe’s arms as he stands, beckoning him in. </p>
<p>Here, they are far from the sea. Andy will have a reckoning with Quynh and their re-establishing bond. They do not have to think of Booker and his reappearance in their lives, or Nile’s uncertainty of where she fits in now that the dynamics have changed.</p>
<p>Joe smiles as he tangles their fingers together, pulling Nicky into a swaying dance. <i>It’s just you, me, our lemons, and the moon</i>, he agrees. It’s a very romantic thing to say, in a romantic place, but Nicky thinks that’s simply Joe’s talent -- he can make any situation as charming and lovely as possible, but he can’t lie that he’s helped along by the fragrant citrus smell in the air and the calm night above them. </p>
<p>“Do you know,” Nicky begins, smiling for the warmth he feels, that solid reminder of Joe’s presence, of his <i>being</i>, “I was thinking that I love you more than every star in that sky.” </p>
<p>“I do know that,” Joe responds, temple pressed to Nicky’s forehead as they sway. “I know every thought you ever have, Nicky, and I am <i>beyond</i> blessed for it.” </p>
<p>“Incurable romantic,” Nicky sighs with joy for the fact that this man is his, “I pray they never find a cure for you.”</p>
<p>“I would never let them,” Joe vows. </p>
<p>They dance, under the stars, and Nicky thinks to himself that he will kill anyone who dares to try and take this from him. Yusuf Al-Kaysani is his, the universe has given him the love of his life, and opened doors between them that so few in this world get to experience. No one, not ever, will take that from him.</p>
<p>Feeling Joe’s smug delight and satisfaction through their connection, he doesn’t have to hear Joe’s thoughts to know he feels the same.</p>
<p><i>I love you too</i>, is still a triumphant echo of that promise from Joe that settles Nicky, eases his worries, and reminds him that he has the whole world in his arms. </p>
<p>Nothing else matters. Not tonight, not with Joe, not when they’re together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As ever, I'm on <a href="https://andrea-lyn.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and love to talk about these two.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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